It's 10:56 PM and I am currently taking a sitz bath, while my wife types this blog. One of the things I fear the most has come upon me, on February 11th, I had a hemorrhoidectomy. Over the last 10 years I have "successfully" managed my hemorrhoids with the hopes and fears to not have surgery. It was more fears that kept me from getting the surgery done when needed. Needless to say, I finally had to have the surgery.
Over the last 5 days, I have been for the most part, bedridden. I am a very active guy and being in the bed and the house (days on) is comparable to being in prison. The post-op pain has been unbearable at times, but for the most part tolerable and typical. The most humbling part is the unexplainable and painful bowel movements which require my wife's assistance. I tell you this all, not for you to feel sorry for me, but to be transparent as usual.
These five days have given me time to do a lot of thinking. Some of the things that I have thought about are a few of the most recent family deaths and the emotions it caused loved ones. Over the last 3 years, my mother-in-law has lost her parents to cancer. One of the things I continue to consider is the endured pain when they knew that they were not going to fully recover. Also, I think about my mother-in-laws emotions as she watched her mother and father suffer. As ashamed as I am to say, I really didn't understand then, like I do now, what it's like to be desperate and in pain plus watching somebody you love sustain a season of pain.
Through this recovery time, I feel that God is teaching me valuable lessons. A few of course I have already aforementioned, but the others have not quite come so clear. Pain has a way of making you internalize what is really going on with you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It pulls things out of you that need to be ‘said and done’. I hope that in this time of recovery I will grow significantly closer to the Lord. As a matter of fact, I know I will.
I hope that this brief, abnormal "Seminary DropOut'" blog will encourage you to deal with those things that need to be ‘said and done’. Calling on the name of Jesus and simply speaking his name repetitively has literally brought comfort to my body. When the pain is so bad and you don't have a clue what to do, call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. He will comfort you, He will teach you, and He will give you the insight needing to stand.
I ask for your prayers in this time of recovery and I ask that you will rejoice with me knowing the revelation that God is my source of healing and restoration. There is one passage that I want to post that has given me hope in this time. May God bless you!
Isaiah 58
True and False Fasting
1"Cry aloud; do not hold back;
(A) lift up your voice like a trumpet;
(B) declare to my people their transgression,
to the house of Jacob their sins.
2(C) Yet they seek me daily
and delight to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that did righteousness
and did not forsake the judgment of their God;
they ask of me righteous judgments;
they delight to draw near to God.
3(D) 'Why have we fasted, and you see it not?
Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?'
Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure,[a]
(E) and oppress all your workers.
4Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight
and to hit with a wicked fist.
Fasting like yours this day
will not make your voice to be heard on high.
5(F) Is such the fast that I choose,
(G) a day for a person to humble himself?
Is it to bow down his head like a reed,
and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him?
Will you call this a fast,
and a day acceptable to the LORD?
6"Is not this the fast that I choose:
(H) to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps(I) of the yoke,
to let the oppressed[b] go free,
and to break every yoke?
7Is it not(J) to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
(K) and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8(L) Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
(M) and your healing shall spring up speedily;
(N) your righteousness shall go before you;
(O) the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
9Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.'
If you take away(P) the yoke from your midst,
(Q) the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10(R) if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
(S) then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be(T) like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
12(U) And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in.
13(V) "If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath,
from doing your pleasure[c] on my holy day,
and call the Sabbath a delight
and the holy day of the LORD honorable;
if you honor it, not going your own ways,
or seeking(W) your own pleasure,[d] or talking idly;[e]
14then you shall take delight in the LORD,
(X) and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;[f]
(Y) I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
(Z) for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."
