My wife and I were being playfully silly the other day, while driving to pickup a pizza. Our two children, ages 9 and 3, were in the backseat entertaining themselves. I’m not quite sure what my wife and I were talking about that was so funny, but I burst out with laughter. After I stopped giggling, we continued our discussion. Within minutes, we noticed our children laughing out loud. Of course, we tuned in to see what was so funny. My 3 year old decided that he would imitate my laugh. We all thought this hilarious, that a toddler without encouragement would choose to make fun of his dad’s laugh. A few days after the incident, I found myself listening to how I sounded when I genuinely laughed. First, I noticed that my toddler did a really good job of mocking me. Second, I realized that my mannerisms and tone were very similar to my dad’s.
As far as I can remember, my father was always working. There were no off days. His full-time job was with a major railroad company, while part-time… he worked odd jobs to earn additional income. From cutting wood to hauling hay, my dad gave meaning to the street term of ‘hustle’. This left little time for involvement in my childhood activities, as it was not a necessity for surviving. My father became a dad at the age of 18. He and my mom were college students with nothing, when I came into this world. I never knew the seriousness of their struggle until one day while in my hometown visiting, we surfed through television channels. We came across ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’. I asked my dad, if he had ever seen it, hoping he hadn’t… so we could watch it. He stated that he had, but had a hard time completing it, because of its similarity to his own life. This sparked my interest, so I inquired. My mom happened to be in the room when I asked questions, so they (both) briefly shared their beginnings. I was somewhat amazed they initially struggled so badly financially. After hearing the story and ‘connecting the pieces’, I better understood why my dad consistently worked so hard in his younger adult years.
Although, my dad wasn’t present for all my tee ball or basketball games, he did make time to involve me in his life. Starting in my pre-teen years, I became heavily involved with his odd jobs. Working with a group of adult-aged blue collar men encouraged me to stay in close proximity to my father. During these limited times, I unconsciously picked up many of his characteristics and ethics. Little did I (or he, I believe) know, how his impression as a provider would affect my life. King Solomon experienced the same. His father, David passed on some of his traits. Although, David was a man that had a heart which pleased God; he fell prey to adultery. Solomon was conceived from this experience (2 Samuel 11). Throughout Solomon’s adult life, he obviously was not content with his wife (or wives) leading him to having several wives. In this pursuit, his conquest would lead him to turning away from God in his old age (1 Kings 11:1-4). Whereas, David choose to fall for another man’s wife; Solomon surpassed his father’s transgression by marrying several women who were not part of God’s will for his life.
It’s safe to say that children do not always know what is best for them. As an adult, you know that eating an entire cake as one meal is bad for your health. Most toddlers are not aware of food’s health benefits. Serving them only baked dessert for dinner may be a dream come true. Generally speaking, their concern in devouring a meal is not nutritional, but enjoyment. What is good in moderation is typically not healthy in excess. In David’s case, his sin of adultery possibly provided an opportunity for his son to excuse himself towards his selection of and appetite for women. No parent should have to mentally debate whether their actions led to their child’s demise. The opportunity to ‘do what you want to do because you’re grown’ is plentiful. Just know that your actions are seeds being planted in the mind of your children. It’s amazing to think that one corn kernel can produce enough cobs to feed a family. The same principle applies in regards to influencing your children. A parent consistently opposing to God’s will is the fertilization of future sins your children may commit. There are many stories in the bible and world that demonstrate this throughout the history of man. It started with Adam and Eve’s bad decision, and then manifested itself into all the God opposing traits our world experiences today.
I’m by far am NOT the perfect model of a father. Unfortunately, my children will have to make their own decisions about the error of their dad’s ways. My prayer is that God will gracefully allow me time to not adversely affect my children’s spiritual walk. I humbly ask the Lord to help me live the life He has called me to live to eliminate any opportunity for generational curses. I believe everyone should do the same. Your areas of deficit that causes anxiety when mentioned will bother you more if you allow it to carry over to your children. Allow the One who has the power to truly change you... into your heart. Trust me; He can change your life. It’s only too late if you are not living. Even if you are older with teenage or adult children, the servant attitude of Jesus Christ (Matthew 20:28) IS the greatest example that you can provide for your children.
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Read a past and similar blog posted on 5.7.10 http://theseminarydropout.blogspot.com/2010/05/your-child-marries-you.html
