My relationship with my high school sweetheart was an emotional ‘roller coaster ride’. From my senior year in high school to my senior year in college, we dated and briefly cohabitated. What started out as fun quickly turned into an obviously emotionally and mentally damaging union. After approximately 1 year of dating, I began cheating. I had no cares or thoughts of how my activities were adversely affecting her (or me). One time, a friend informed her of my illicit behavior. When I was confronted, I bluntly denied. My braggadocios ways were gratifying my immediate needs. I was an overconfident and blindly under-achieving kid with selfish and boyish intentions. This behavior wasn’t taught, but was the norm in my environment. I truly didn’t set out to be a bad guy, but allowed it. The experience wounded my self-worth, desensitized my faith in God, and lowered my class level. I was aware that my actions could lead to more serious consequences, but choose to disregard the potential risks. Today, if I was to have the same ignore-ant approach, it would prove detrimental to not only me, but my family.
When God created Adam, he was placed in a thriving environment with few recorded guidelines. The one most remembered is God’s commandment to Adam (before Eve existed) not to eat from a specific tree (Genesis 2:16-17). God’s biblical purpose in positioning Adam in this new land was to maintain it (Genesis 2:15). After these instructions were given and Adam completed his initial assignments, God created a woman to offer help and companionship. Within a short period, Satan decided to mentally attack her by challenging God’s ultimate commandment. Eventually his craftiness overwhelmed Eve to yield and disobey God. After a bite was taken, she passed the fruit to Adam. (Genesis 3:6). Once the realization set, they hid from God and each other. God summoned Adam’s whereabouts discovering him clothed. Quickly realizing Adam’s newfound ‘wisdom’, He asked for an explanation. Instead of Adam offering his wrong doings, he responded claiming Eve as the primary blame for his bad choice (Genesis 3:12).
Today, the same ‘blame shifting’ takes place. God has given all men clear instructions to be overall leaders of their families (Genesis 3:16). I have witnessed many men who’ve allowed Satan to destroy their families and ultimately, their future. Like Adam, men have been called to have dominion, while being fruitful and multiplying (Genesis 1:26, 28). No matter your interpretation of this scripture, the common demonstration of most modern day marriages and families are not a good representation of God’s purpose. If men chose not to lead their own family, how is it possible for him to fully experience God’s will to dominate, multiply, and be fruitful? When Adam choose to be a quiet bystander instead of a verbal and physical protector of his wife and future, the results were costly. Am I saying it was completely Adam’s fault? Absolutely not; however, it’s worth noting that he was present when Eve made this significant mistake. Whether, it be right or wrong; I challenge myself to accept the responsibility for the decisions of my wife and children. It is a husband’s and father’s job to place his wife and children in an environment conducive to having a healthy relationship with God, which promotes a healthy, biblical response to life (Ephesians 6:4, 1 Timothy 3: 2,12). Although, this may not guarantee a biblical response; it will increase the chances for wisdom and discernment.
The current status of the American family is a direct reflection of men not accepting their overall godly position. This passive aggressive approach has caused many women to function in unnatural and quite stressful roles. Choosing to be like Adam by not interfering when our ‘helper’ is confronted with the world’s deceit is not acceptable. It places women and children in roles, which God hasn’t willed. God has anointed men to lead, not to watch their family. Spectators watch and wonder what will happen next. Not tapping into this divine gift of leadership has proven to be a travesty. Failing our children, wives, and mothers (including mother of our children) has lead us in the wrong direction. The bible is filled with disasters starting with a man choosing sins of omission (failing to do what is commanded). If you have fell victim to being passive in godly leadership, please take heed of Adam’s example during his moment of meekness.
The sad truth of my past is recognizing just how lost I was. Being timid in pursuing Jesus Christ increased my unawareness for those who were closest to me. In a conversation years after our break up, my ex disclosed a very serious matter she endured during our relationship. During the entirety of our union, I was clueless. In discovering, I was ashamed to not have helped. The same can happen to anyone choosing not to be active in their love one’s life. Involving yourself to the point of caring, probing, and defending is needed to avoid receiving this type of news. Fulfill the command of God to multiply, be fruitful, and dominate, but first remember, you must protect the ones you love (Titus 1:6-9).
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