I was only pretending

One of the deciding factors to purchasing our home was the two block distance to our homeowner’s association pool. Summers in Fort Worth can be extremely hot. Having easy access to any type of water to drench your body is a plus. When the slip-n-slide and sprinkler will not do, off to the pool we go.

This past Memorial Day, floats, diver toys, and kids filled the pool. The number of people heightened my wife and I awareness of our children. While she was busy with our youngest son, I ‘pool floated’ hidden under dark shades and a visor watching our eight year old son. His verbal and physical interaction with others clearly indicated that he was becoming a young man.

After about an hour of being at the pool, my son and one of his female friends decided that they were going to fight for my pool raft. Instead of allowing them to ‘pull and tug’, I encouraged them to share the raft. It was large enough to support their weight and size. As they floated together, our floatie-secured 2 year old quickly joined them. He was greeted with a kiss from his affectionate brother. Within seconds, he was crying to be removed, desiring to float on his own. His mother removed him, turned away, and within seconds, my oldest son made his first attempt to kiss a girl (on the cheek). Luckily, she turned away and gave him evil eyes.

After examining myself, I felt my son needed to be held accountable for his actions. Since kindergarten, his mother and I had stressed the importance of not improperly touching or kissing anyone. He was well-aware of our expectations and his role.

While walking home, he was asked about the kiss. He shared with us that he was only pretending and did not kiss her. I began with my long dad speech of how a girlfriend/wife means responsibility. His body language about the matter was very lax indicating his lack of concern for my views; however, he did apologize for his behavior. I appreciated the apology, but didn’t experience a peace of mind regarding his understanding.

I couldn’t seem to let go of what happened. The matter greatly disturbed me, because of my past relationship with girls/women. I do not desire for my sons to live a similar lifestyle. One of the key deterrents of the girls, that I didn’t pursue, was an accountability factor. Whether the accountability was a questioning parent, big brother, bullying uncle, or annoying cousin of the girl; it got my attention and kept me away from girls that were not worth the trouble. Unfortunately for my son, the young girl didn’t have any similar advocates. Due to his comfort level, I would have to play all roles.

The God-given idea was to have him inform the girl’s father of his kiss attempt. I hoped that this would provide substance to this much-needed to learn lesson. Well, to say the least, my son was extremely frightened. His body language immediately changed, once he was informed of the confession he would make. He cried to his mother in complete fear of the unknown. She gently consoled him with affirming words, but I continued to ‘drive home’ our concern. Fortunately for my son, the girl’s father was not home; however, the mother was. She expressed her concern for my son and her daughter. The point was made.

When I was a young boy, my mother held me to similar standards. I can recall a friend spreading a rumor about me and a neighborhood girl. My mom heard about the rumor and questioned me. The story was totally untrue; however, she was not convinced. She decided to speak with the girl’s mother. The girl’s mom confronted me. I was held accountable for my part in creating this rumor. A lesson was learned. I never attempted to date the girl, again or participated in such a rumor.

Children, especially young boys, need to be held accountable for their actions. Proverbs speaks of how disciplining your children will give you rest (29:17), hope (19:18), and a future (22:6). Also, the wisdom-filled book of the Bible states that not disciplining your child will bring you shame (29:15) and demonstrates unhealthy love (13:24). God encourages us to confront our brothers and sisters, who sin against us. Scripture informs Christians to confront the offender with another believer, if he/she doesn’t acknowledge his wrongdoings after the first confrontation (Matthew 18:15-16). This is why it’s so important for a mother and father to be on the ‘same page’ when it involves discipline.

Living a righteous life amongst your children will give you more credibility than your parental authority in confronting your children about ungodly issues. Teaching godly lessons early in life may prevent severe issues in the teenage and young adult years. Let’s all be encouraged to love our children, the way God loves us (Hebrews 12:5-8).

Yeah, I'm Bragging! Psalms 34:2

For the last 12 years, I can honestly say that I have faithfully tithed (given 10% of my income to the Christian church). The church I joined as a young adult strongly taught the principle. Thank God, it was something that I never had struggles.

When I began, the amount was significantly less than what is given now. There was truly no pressure, worries, or concerns about the money gone. Of course, I thoroughly understood why God encouraged me to give, but I wasn’t thinking about why- just giving it. At the end of the year, I was (am) always amazed by the overall amount of donations claimed.

Years later, when I met my wife, I encouraged her to practice the principle of faithfully tithing. Lucky for me, she was already a giver. Out of all the mistakes that we made during dating, inconsistent-to-not tithing was not one of them. We committed to honoring God in giving. For us, it was one of the easiest forms of worship.

As we grew in our giving, we began to see God’s protection, promotion, and provision. Our faith grew in Him. Our testimony to all was give and it will be given to you! (Luke 6:38). More than financial blessings took place, but relational, emotional, and physical blessings happened. There was no doubt that God’s principle instructed in Malachi 3:8-12 was real. My wife and I were employed with decent salaries to easily support our family’s conservative lifestyle and financial responsibilities.

There was never a recognizable test of my faith in God’s ability to fulfill his promise regarding tithing, until about a year and half ago. I was offered an opportunity to relocate with my employer. Months before this opportunity, my wife had just given birth to our second son. She had always wanted to stay home with our children, but had worked full-time since being a mom. I had promised her while dating, that she would be able to stay home to be a full-time mom. The move would allow it. This was a blessing.

After securing the family in our new city, the reality of being the sole financial provider for my family began causing personal stress. I say personal, because I never fully expressed this to my wife. I should have, but my pride wouldn’t allow it. It was not that I was concerned with our income, but the economy. What if I lost my job? The idea of letting down my family and asking my wife to find a job (not a career) became fears of the unknown. At times, I allowed my emotions to overtake me.

One thing, I have learned, while being a Christian, is God is faithful. If you are obedient to his commandments, blessings follow. You may not receive what you had in mind, but you will receive.

After realizing that I was focusing more on fear-based circumstances than God’s faithfulness to fulfill His promises, I was given peace. The gift that I most needed at the time. An increase in salary would have been a temporary fix. My underlining issue was unbelief, which caused inner turmoil and mental discomfort. Money can not repair insecurities. Peace from God can. God provided my sense of relief in His word. A conditional promise was given. Faithfulness had been displayed on my and His end. Why worry?

There have been times in my life, that I have been called ‘lucky’. I prefer to be called ‘blessed.’ One of major distinctions between blessed and lucky is obedience. Do not be surprised if you are not receiving, if you are not giving. It’s a biblical principle that is in use by many, who do not claim Christianity. Many principles that God has outlined for His people, when practiced by ungodly people, produces great results. If He said do this and this will happen- you can plan on it. His character is supreme (Numbers 23:19). If a seed is planted, a harvest is due; whether you have accepted Christ or not. Therefore, do not be upset (if you are) when ungodly people thrive financially, mentally, and intellectually. They may be extravagant givers to a Godly principle. True wealth is your soul prospering (3 John 1:2). Without Christ, it’s impossible.

God’s ultimate gift was Christ. If you are obedient to the principle of wholly receiving Him and giving Him (Matthew 28:19-20), you will more than thrive financially, physically, and intellectually, but spiritually. Be obedient to God’s principle of Salvation for your soul. Afterwards, offer Him to the world, then allow protection, promotion, and provision to overtake you.

If you desire to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, please click on the link below.

www.cbn.com/spirituallife/BibleStudyandTheology/Discipleship/Steps_to_Peace_With_God.aspx