This post took awhile to add, because of an internal struggle I was having. This post is about being open and honest with your spouse. The bible states when a man and woman marry, they become one. They are to leave their mother and father and connect to their spouse. In conjunction to this, God states that He loves us despite the sins we commit and have committed. His son, Jesus Christ, model the same love by dying for us allowing us to reconnect with His Father (if we accept Him as Lord and Savior). I have always been extremely grateful to God for forgiving, healing, and accepting me despite my past. Although, I know that He is very aware of my sins, I still confess them and in doing so I’m allowing our intimacy to grow. In my eyes, this is real acceptance and love with no rejection. He is there for me at all times, but I must ‘be real’ in order to grow closer to Him. Since I am a Christian, I am to model this same behavior towards everyone I encounter, especially in my marital relationship.
As most people know, who read my blog; my wife and I were friends before we became romantic ally involved. I was very frank and transparent about my past. After she had proven her self as a safe haven, verbally expressing and confessing was easy. It allowed our friendship to significantly grow. My openness and willingness to be vulnerable promoted her to talk about her past. I can’t express how much these talks connected us. We were becoming one not physically, but emotionally. An emotional affair started before we ever ‘quote on quote’ dated. After we married, we went deeper into sharing and the connection grew. I once not felt rejected for any of my mistakes made. Sometimes, it was very difficult sharing but afterwards we always grew closer.
I learned through this process that we both were given opportunities to model Christ’s behavior of acceptance by forgetting those things in the past and looking forward to our future’s together (Philippians 3:12-14). I recently had an opportunity to share our level of openness with a friend. He was somewhat amazed that I would express my ‘manly’ thoughts to my wife. Since it has been a common practice, no thought had really been given to my admissions. My wife listens as I do the same and life goes on. Recently, I had been dealing with something that I did not want to share with my wife. With the hopes and faith, which I have in God and my marital relationship; I believe my disclosure will draw us closer together (James 5:13-16). My postponing of adding this blog was due to my fear and delay in expressing (despite our healthy history) and towards my sincerity to ‘walk the talk’. I am and will be always a firm believer in remaining transparent in healthy and safe relationships. Marriage should be a refuge for all married couples. Unfortunately, I know that it’s not. If you are unable to express your deepest most intimate feelings and emotions with your spouse, I would strongly encourage your to ask yourself why. Besides our relationship with the Lord, marriage is the most important relationship we will ever experience, according to the Bible.
How can you become one, if you do not share? Quite honestly, it’s impossible. Prayer through Jesus Christ is our connecting force to God. He desires us to have a deeper and stronger relationship with Him. In prayer, we confess our sins, announce our hopes, express our fears, ask for help, and seek guidance. This connects us to God. Why? He knows us and we trust Him. We place our faith in Him to answer our prayers, allow our hopes to be complete, and grant wisdom. This relationship would be impossible, if we did not humble ourselves and trust in His acceptance and ability to assist. If you have chosen to marry someone, you have committed a similar act of humility. Comparable to your relationship with God, in order for this marital relationship to grow, you must continue the humility and trust. Hopefully, you have a spouse who is willing to do the same for you as God does. If not, I encourage you to seek the Lord in prayer asking for salvation for your spouse. This will be the only way for you to share the level of intimacy that God desires His children to experience in a marital relationship.
If you are single know that God has encouraged us all not to marry unbelievers. Even your close friends are to be Christians (2 Corinthians 6:14). In being obedient to this command, you should experience a higher level of safety that is not present in a worldly relationship. My best male friend is my best friend (first and foremost) because we both are practicing Christianity and share an equal level of intimacy with God and one another. Our relationship would be meaningless and superficial, if he or I didn’t bare our souls. It takes courage to do so. Also, it takes a significant amount of bravery to be accepting, loving, and understanding, yet accountable and reliable. The bible compares expressing yourself to people who haven’t proven worthy like giving pearls to swine (Matthew 7:6). Those secrets that you are dealing with are much better to deal with a Christian (loving and trustworthy) friend than alone. God has created us to be relational. Seek out complete Bible-believing Christians and share, share, share and grow, grow, grow!
Please know that my heart is for you to experience God’s best. I’ve made many mistakes in the area of trust. I believe God’s plan is for us to share in our marital and trustworthy Christian relationship. I desire for you to experience His blessings of rest and acceptance. Give Him your all and then, do the same for your spouse.
If you desire to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please click on the link below.
