As a kid, I was always consciously aware of my behavior. My parents were consistent in holding me accountable to my actions. If I was disobedient, I was properly dealt with. One junior high day during PE (physical education class), I verbally expressed my displeasures in my performance using ‘HELL’ as a reference. The PE teacher, already noticing a shift in my attitude, was bothered by my word and immediately directed me to the principle’s office. When I arrived, the principle contacted the PE teacher asking why I had been sent. He informed him that I used profanity. After hearing this, he directed me to the guidance counselor. While I was being transferred, I pleaded my case. I can remember expressing to the staff, “…all I said was ‘HELL’”. I knew that it was not appropriate, but come on… really. I heard much worse during gym class and simply couldn’t figure out the fuss over this casual spoken four-letter word.
When I entered the guidance counselor office, he sat me down and began his ‘spill’. I can’t quote verbatim what he said, but I do recall him informing me that my mom (who he knew) would be informed by phone. My main concern was “…tell her I said ‘HELL’ not that I was cursing”; however, I knew it didn’t matter. I was in trouble. Just as I didn’t want him to do, he did. Even now, I can emotionally connect to how upset I was about my behavior. My mother decided to drive (from work) to meet with me and the guidance counselor. While he spoke about the noticeable change in my attitude and my choice of words, I deeply concerned myself with the consequences of my actions. From that day forward, I was never disciplined again for using profanity. Now, I didn’t say I stopped using profanity… I simply discontinued speaking profane around authority.
Now, I’m a parent. I get the opportunity to scare the ‘crap’ out of my children, when they are disobedient or disrespectful. I take great pride in this role. As I know, my parent’s acts of love helped keep me out of much serious trouble as a child, teen, and adult. Obviously, I made a number of serious mistakes, but thankfully God’s grace along with my parent’s accountability established a positive outcome. This biblical formula is a promise which God has given all who choose to follow. The classic verse referred to disciplining children is Proverbs 13:24. Universally known as, ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’; however, the text actually reads ‘He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly’ (NKJV).
As a young, childless adult, I wanted to spank everyone’s kid for ‘being bad’. The Wal-Mart trips with a kid ‘throwing a fit’ in the isle; because mommy wouldn’t buy them the latest, greatest toy encouraged this thought process. However, after becoming a dad, I quickly realized spanking as a disciplinary tool was not the resolution for every child behavior problem. What I understood as a child was respect for my parent’s authority. I knew that if I was non-compliant to given instructions that I would be disciplined. My mom didn’t ‘miss a beat’ (pun not intended). She was consistent as days become nights and nights become days. If she said this would happen if you disobey, then what she said would happen- happened. Sometimes, my harvest of disobedience included a spanking; other times, there were restrictions placed on my quality of life. This fear of being discipline and held accountable established great reverence for my parents. Today, if they attempted to physically spank me for my bad behavior; it would be slightly awkward. Although, if I were to be rightfully imprisoned… May the Lord have mercy on my conscious regarding the disappointment I would bring my parents. This alone would be my spanking.
About three Sundays ago, I overheard a childcare worker inform a mother that her daughter was hitting other children. The childcare worker encouraged the mom to teach her child that we should use our hands for loving, not hitting. I remembered hearing this before. This saying made such an impression on my wife and I that we purchased a big wooden spoon to use for disciplining instead of our hands. This wooden spoon has become the pun of many jokes and laughs amongst our children and us. He has become such a figure, that we gave him a name and a theme song. The theme song chorus goes a little something like this:
When I entered the guidance counselor office, he sat me down and began his ‘spill’. I can’t quote verbatim what he said, but I do recall him informing me that my mom (who he knew) would be informed by phone. My main concern was “…tell her I said ‘HELL’ not that I was cursing”; however, I knew it didn’t matter. I was in trouble. Just as I didn’t want him to do, he did. Even now, I can emotionally connect to how upset I was about my behavior. My mother decided to drive (from work) to meet with me and the guidance counselor. While he spoke about the noticeable change in my attitude and my choice of words, I deeply concerned myself with the consequences of my actions. From that day forward, I was never disciplined again for using profanity. Now, I didn’t say I stopped using profanity… I simply discontinued speaking profane around authority.
Now, I’m a parent. I get the opportunity to scare the ‘crap’ out of my children, when they are disobedient or disrespectful. I take great pride in this role. As I know, my parent’s acts of love helped keep me out of much serious trouble as a child, teen, and adult. Obviously, I made a number of serious mistakes, but thankfully God’s grace along with my parent’s accountability established a positive outcome. This biblical formula is a promise which God has given all who choose to follow. The classic verse referred to disciplining children is Proverbs 13:24. Universally known as, ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’; however, the text actually reads ‘He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly’ (NKJV).
As a young, childless adult, I wanted to spank everyone’s kid for ‘being bad’. The Wal-Mart trips with a kid ‘throwing a fit’ in the isle; because mommy wouldn’t buy them the latest, greatest toy encouraged this thought process. However, after becoming a dad, I quickly realized spanking as a disciplinary tool was not the resolution for every child behavior problem. What I understood as a child was respect for my parent’s authority. I knew that if I was non-compliant to given instructions that I would be disciplined. My mom didn’t ‘miss a beat’ (pun not intended). She was consistent as days become nights and nights become days. If she said this would happen if you disobey, then what she said would happen- happened. Sometimes, my harvest of disobedience included a spanking; other times, there were restrictions placed on my quality of life. This fear of being discipline and held accountable established great reverence for my parents. Today, if they attempted to physically spank me for my bad behavior; it would be slightly awkward. Although, if I were to be rightfully imprisoned… May the Lord have mercy on my conscious regarding the disappointment I would bring my parents. This alone would be my spanking.
About three Sundays ago, I overheard a childcare worker inform a mother that her daughter was hitting other children. The childcare worker encouraged the mom to teach her child that we should use our hands for loving, not hitting. I remembered hearing this before. This saying made such an impression on my wife and I that we purchased a big wooden spoon to use for disciplining instead of our hands. This wooden spoon has become the pun of many jokes and laughs amongst our children and us. He has become such a figure, that we gave him a name and a theme song. The theme song chorus goes a little something like this:
Rodney, the Whooping Stick- he’ll spank your butt for fun
when you get to acting up, here he comes…
Rodney, the Whooping Stick…
Rodney, the Whooping Stick!
when you get to acting up, here he comes…
Rodney, the Whooping Stick…
Rodney, the Whooping Stick!
Our children aren’t terribly afraid of Rodney. He typically hangs on the wall between their bedrooms. They are fully aware when he is insight, that it’s time to straighten up. I’m grateful for Rodney. He has become the bad guy. I say this, because I’m aware that some wrestle with holding their children accountable through disciplining. I am far from perfect, but using creative discipline methods have been equally successful and honor God in parenting. According to the bible, using your parental authority to promptly discipline your children shows your love. Do it. Then maybe, one day, like me; your child will look back on their life and be glad they had a parent that held them accountable at an early age. Strive to be someone your children respect. Not only when they’re children, but when they become socially and financially independent adults. This may be the lasting factor of maintaining a line of stability in your and their life.
I know this blog was not much about having a relationship with Jesus, but in many ways it is. God can help you be a more loving parent. According to the bible, the only way you can have a real connection with God is through Jesus Christ. Here’s another opportunity.
I know this blog was not much about having a relationship with Jesus, but in many ways it is. God can help you be a more loving parent. According to the bible, the only way you can have a real connection with God is through Jesus Christ. Here’s another opportunity.
If you desire the power needed to truly change your life, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior by clicking on the link below.
