I hate that word

A few years ago, I trained a cheerful, down-to-earth; speak her mind, and high-spirited lady. She was very likable and an easy to talk with. Unfortunately, I was unable to help her reach her ultimate fat loss goals. At the beginning of each week, she would inform me of her past weekend diet. Typically, her verbal food journal would end with my sigh of anguish followed by words of encouragement about the fundamental dos and don’ts towards losing body fat. Before I could complete my spill, she would say, “I know, I know, I know”… However, I would still give my speech repeatedly exclaiming – DISCIPLINE; in which she would respond, I hate that word! I hate that word, too. 

Sometimes, I play the role of a workaholic. I use to believe there were all pros and no cons to working hard, until recently when my body starting ‘acting out’. The month of October was a scary one. It included a series of tests for diagnosing multiple sclerosis, a month long annoying eye twitch and a week of right side facial numbness (TMJ), along with swelling of my right knee, and hernia in my right groin. 

Every one of my symptoms and medical issues could have been caused by something other than fatigue. However, I’m convinced that my symptoms were brought on by a lack of rest and sleep. With the significant amount of research connecting fatigue to preventable diseases, you would think that this personal trainer would get more rest. Well, I didn’t and I’m hoping that I’ve learned my lesson.

We all struggle with something that adversely affects our overall health. I’ve found that the warning signs normally aren’t enough for most to discontinue their unhealthy habits. Typically, it takes our life being derailed or feared lost before we seriously deal with an issue.

In Genesis 19, there’s a story about a family visited by angels. They were told to leave their city because it was going to be destroyed. The family hesitated. The bible states that under God’s compassion, the angels grabbed their hands to promptly direct them to safety. While the land was being destroyed, they were encouraged not to look back. Unfortunately, the family’s mother looked back and lost her life.

To me, this story portrays the typical stages of decision making in most people’s lives. We are offered words of wisdom, specific instruction, and grace; with this, our eventual outcome depends on our willingness to accept sound advice and follow through. No matter how much we desire a positive outcome; we have to be discipline in completing the necessary steps for a better quality of life.

My encouragement: Don’t look back. If you choose to look back, quickly and positively reflect. Deal with the past by moving forward and replacing those old destructive habits with positive, life-building traits. Tell someone (whether it be a ‘hater’ or a friend) what you plan to do for consistent accountability. Then, Commit your ways to God and be discipline in consistently following the steps needed to improve.  

My goal is to rest smarter and more. What is yours?

Failure to ‘pass on’ the fundamentals

For me, one of the most exciting things about being a dad is watching my children compete. I’m a competitive person who sometimes allows my individuality to get in the way of simply enjoying the moment. As a dad, I have no control over my son’s competitive level or interest. This is a constant battle for me that I daily have to surrender for a solid ‘peace of mind’.

Last year, my oldest son began playing basketball. I assistant coached him in his first recreation league. It was bittersweet. Our team had the league best record and won the tournament championship; however, my boy struggled. He was extremely frustrated with the complexity of basketball. Quite honestly, I believed he was relieved when the season ended.

Unfortunately for him, his time of sitting around during the summer had ended. In addition to the usual Christian and educational/fun camps, he was going to attend a few basketball camps. He, like most young boys, needed direction and a challenge.

The summer of 2012 was productive for his development. He, his mom, and I were pleased and noticed a difference, physically and socially. Fortunately, he was ready for additional challenges. He was granted the opportunity to play with more developed players last fall. Again, he fought to solidify an identity on a winning team; however, his liking for this sport grew. Also, I struggled watching him struggle. I clearly had to accept responsibility that his lack of basketball knowledge was clearly an indication of my failure to ‘pass on’ the fundamentals.

My disappointment centered on my child’s reflection of me. Athletically competing through college is not a badge I have chosen to wear publicly, but it is something that I am proud of. I believe that my children have the capacity to achieve the same. I had clearly failed to communicate something that is important to me.

Fortunately, God is faithful in providing moments that reflect what you have taught. Throughout all the struggles of my son developing into a player, many faith talks involving scriptures occurred. His battle made God’s Word more relevant and applicable. Also, the essentials of God’s plan were easier translated throughout his individual victories and tribulations. To simply put it, I believe that God has become more real to him.

After his most recent season ended, my wife and I took the time to tell him our individual faith ‘come to Jesus’ stories. The theme of our stories noticeably was repentance… turning away from our sin and towards God’s plan. He was visibly surprised and inquisitive about our past and the direction we WERE headed. I believed this impacted him further. Within weeks following this experience, he walked into our bedroom genuinely expressing sorrow for unconfessed sins prompting his mom to pray with him. The next day, I had a major revelation.

My son has yet to master dribbling, shooting, or defending, but he has successfully demonstrated one of the fundamental requirements to having a good relationship with God - repenting. As a Christian father, that is truly something to be proud. I can quickly think of a handful of Christian parents who dream of their child sorrowfully repenting.

This is what we have been and are working towards – the eternal, not the temporary.

… the training of the body has a limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:8 HCSB

Oh, how I love seeing him score, but his relationship with God has and will always be more important. I pray that God will always hold me accountable to this truth.

                                                                                                                                         

If you desire to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please click on the link below.

http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

We are all being brainwashed

As my wife cried and honestly expressed, I thought to myself ‘Geez …but I do ask you how you are doing (everyday)?’ I pleaded my case, but I knew that winning this conversation wasn’t going to fix the problem. Ultimately, I needed to humble myself to serve and love a little more in areas, which cause me discomfort. The worse about all this is that ‘I’m tired of adapting!’ We’ve been married for more than seven years and she should know the deal by now, right? Maybe… but since I married a woman with certain needs that I’m obviously not fulfilling; I ‘gotta step my game up’.

Our marriage had hit another ‘fork in the road’ and a decision needed to be made. Luckily, when it comes to my marital relationship, I’m a purpose-driven servant refusing to offer my wife a legitimate reason to mentally or physically detach from me. Hopefully, this will keep me married for a lifetime. I know my wife’s worth. I’ll do what I need to do within the will of God to keep her heart and earthly attention.

There’s daily moments in life where opportunities to decide are present. Whether you recognized life asked you a question or not, you made a choice. As days pass, your answers to life’s questions play out. Typically in hindsight, we can pinpoint when and what decisions were made. From your circle of influence to your sources of entertainment, what you accept in your life molds the way you think and process information. Whether we admit it or not, we are all being brainwashed.

One of the best gifts that God gave man is free will. We are allowed to program ourselves to operate the way we desire. Our words and actions are a direct reflection of our sources of inspiration and what we sincerely value. Before any positive changes are made, we all have to take ownership. Sometimes what we do with our time, energy, effort, and expenses doesn’t match what our mouth says we value. This is a major conflict of interest, which will cause you serious heartache.

When there are discrepancies with what I say I value most, I evaluate the direction of my time, energy, effort, and expenses. Typically, the root cause of my issues are that those four identities are not aligned with the course I desire my life. From my experience, this is the case with most people. We say we want one thing, but practice behaviors which lead to a different spiritual, mental, relational, physical, and financial lifestyle.

Be honest with yourself and others about your values. If you don’t like what your lifestyle reflects as worthwhile, make some changes like surrounding yourself with reminders and encouragers of your morals. For me, my Christian faith is an endless, unchanging, and sustaining-proven source for a productive and fulfilling life. For example, regarding my relational issue with my wife; God has provided me many models of grace, sacrificial service, and understanding, while commanding and encouraging me to do the same.

You are being influenced. Who and what is influencing you? Is your source worthy of following and consistently reflecting your values? Where is your source leading you?

Commit for the 1st time –
http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

Commit to SERVE –
http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=does_god_really_want_me_to_serve_all_things

I couldn't agree more!

Manhood as defined by the Bible requires men to put the needs and best interests of others before their own. It's about living sacrificially. A man uses his strength and influence to help others and defend those who cannot defend themselves. Read how manly this verse sounds and how it speaks powerfully to a man's heart:

"I rescued the poor who cried for help and the fatherless who had none to assist him...I made the widows heart sing...I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger. I broke the fangs of the wicked and snatched the victims from their teeth." Job 29:12, 13, 15-17 (NIV).

God gives men a mandate throughout the bible to protect women and children and be His representative here on earth. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress" James 1:27 (NIV)…

Authentic men are passionate, fierce, and noble-they care. In fact, they are a little dangerous, but it's a good dangerous. You might not see this passion on the exterior, but it's bubbling under pressure just beneath the surface, forcing its way into every area of his life. They have a spiritual longing for adventure, for a battle to fight that's bigger than themselves, for significance in their lives. Like modern-day gladiators they stand in the ring facing the challenges of life with courage and passion.

Wow! I couldn’t agree more. Each aging year, I become more aware of my mortality. I've drawn the conclusion that those who are honored in their afterlife -- gave their lives for the well-being of others. Whether it was a symbolic or literal death, the individuals most consider truly worthy of honor are those who gave up something for their present quality of life.

When is the last time that you gave something of yourself without expecting a return? Possibly today or yesterday for your kid… How about outside of your immediate family? Quite honestly, I am challenged by the Bible’s encouragement to look after ‘orphans and widows’. I can’t recall the last time I intentionally served a parentless child or a woman who had lost a husband. In America, there’s a growing trend of men who choose not to care for their own children, yet alone caring for orphans and widows.

Here are some direct challenges inspired from the quote posted above.

1. What would your family, friends, and peers say that you are passionate about? Does your passion align with God’s will? Do you care if your passions support His will?

2. What would those who are in your circle of influence say you are ‘fighting’ that will influence eternity (‘bigger than you’)? If you were to die today, what would your family say you stood for?

3. Is there proof that you demonstrate courage in pursuing your passions and dealing with daily life issues?

Knowing the ‘for sure’ answers to these questions may give the direction, which you are headed. If you would be disappointed with your representation at your own funeral; it’s time to make some changes. Connect your will to God’s plan, and go after what you really want out of life. Living a life for others with good intentions and under God’s authority is fulfilling, exciting, and culture altering.

Small unusual steps towards your goals are better than not moving at all. http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

The excerpt was taken from a blog entitled In Search of Masculinity –Part 2 (http://blogs.christianpost.com/parenting/in-search-of-masculinity-part-2-622/) written by Rick I. Johnson.

The Walking Dead

The other night, I searched through Netflix looking for a new series to watch. I love suspense-filled dramas and action, so typically I look in these genres first. I stumbled across a 4.5 star rated television series, The Walking Dead. The show description seemed interesting and worthy of my ‘lying in the bed’ downtime; so I gave it ‘a shot’. Wow! It provided quite the entertainment. By the second episode, I was intensely grabbing my phone with sweaty hands, while kicking my feet and loudly calling the victims ‘fools’ for not doing what I told them.


After my wife had completed her nightly ritual, she jumped in bed, leaned over for a goodnight kiss, and quietly asked if I wanted to pray. Absolutely, it’s the norm. We always start with thanksgiving, and then move to specific requests of needs for us and others. Occasionally, we will pray for a good night’s sleep; as I did this particular night. Well, guess what, I didn’t sleep well at all. For some strange reason, I dreamt of zombies all night. “Come on God, I prayed for rest. Why didn’t you deliver ‘God of Peace’? I had to work all day on 6 hours of interrupted sleep.”

Rhetorical question alert: Why was my prayer for rest not fulfilled?

I was delusional to thought that sleep would be peaceful. My mental state was affected by a bad decision. There’s no way of reaping long-term benefits from polluting your mind, body, spirit, soul, and relationships. Prayer isn’t a guaranteed solution to override bad choices. However, godly living can prevent most, if not all, miserable results.

If you desire health in any area of your life, start with foundational principles which lead to success. Verbally professing a conditional promise of God (scripture) with contradicting actions is pointless. Yes, faith is the substance of things hope for; however, praying for (something) when your lifestyle reflects (nothing) is absurd. For example, overindulging in areas, which God has given us freedom through Jesus Christ to enjoy, can lead to death/disaster. There are so many examples which I could provide from my own past mistakes to current ones. We daily face crossroads were the decision to place God’s foundation first is optional. Not knowing what the bible says about life is a personal problem. In life, ignorance is not bliss. What you don’t know – can hurt you. You may be praying for something, that the bible has already informed is the opposite will of God. Yet, your lack of discipline to get the information you need is holding you back from acting on and receiving God’s promise.

According to Genesis, God breathe his life into man and he became a living creature. God is still breathing through his word (the Bible). If you are not allowing it to change your lifestyle, you could become ‘The Walking Dead’.

Start here for foundation regarding your spiritual health.
http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

Video Games + Mythical Creatures that 'battle'

Yesterday, I asked my oldest son was there anyone he looked up to? He shrugged his shoulders and said ‘no’. As a dad, I’m not quite sure how to handle that. I try pretty hard to be a good influence and role model for my sons.

My oldest is an early teen. His hobbies are video gaming, ‘battling’ spinning tops, and collecting Japanese action adventure inspired cards. To quickly sum it up, I have no interest in his passions. They are totally foreign and unexciting to me. Although, I do financially support his fix.

Recently, I signed him up for a basketball league. His mom and I were patiently waiting on him to express some interest in sports; however, this never really happened. Our fear of issues attached with not having structured extracurricular activities promoted us to ‘get the ball rolling’.

Luckily, he was placed on the most talented team in this novice league. They ended the season undefeated champions. At the completion of the championship game and award ceremonies, we had a light conversation about the season. I asked several questions to filter his opinion and true emotions. His response fed to one common subject, ‘I’m not sure if I want to continue because it’s hard’.  Although, he verbally and genuinely expressed having fun; the complex game of basketball took its toll. He often looked panicky. The occasional glance for confirmation was demonstrated in every game. His body language consistently shouted ‘am I’m doing the right thing?’ This culture was foreign to him.

What a dilemma?

Most people make decisions based on life experiences. Hopefully, we (all) learn from our mistakes and make better choices. When I was a child, there was a distinct time that my father unknowingly taught a principle.

One cold, snowy winter day in the Midwest, my dad decided that he was going to cut and gather a few truckloads of wood. As usual, I was forced to tag along. After my fingers went numb and my father was content with his work, we headed home. This same day, the varsity basketball team was having mandatory basketball practice. I was tired, and could care less, if I attended practice. As a freshman, my playing time was extremely limited and I was mostly considered a practice dummy. However, my father could sincerely careless of my fatigue and lackluster intents. He did not ask me if I wanted to go or how I felt about going, but instead drove me to practice and sat in the stands as I fumbled my way through the 90 minutes of torture.  I distinctly remember hating every minute of practice and my father, this day. However, by the end of the basketball season, I played a role in helping our team win a major post-season tournament.  Without the discipline my father instilled, this possibly could not have been. Although, I truly never developed a passion for basketball, the requirements towards rising in this sport were rewarding and integral in my adult development.

Am I’m saying that my son will have to play the same sport as I to learn the same lessons? I’m not. I’m conveying that children need direction, discipline, and consistent reinforcement to develop. Although, my son didn’t acknowledge a role model; (I believe) his current role models are electronically manipulating images and mythical creatures. Unfortunately for him, these examples do not have the ability to instill work ethic. You do.

In the Old Testament, there are plenty examples of father’s blessing their children. God set the model by his calling of Israel. He spoke their legacy before it took place. Although, they fought the new way of thinking and living; the willingness to be obedient and submissive to His authority eventually paid off. God, in his fatherly role, knew what was best for his children. He had a vision and purpose in mind and remained consistent until it was fulfilled. His concern for their overall, long term well-being superseded their immediate comfort. The Israelites’ blatant defiance during the process demonstrates their lack of vision and purpose. Unfortunately, they were former slaves lacking a positive role model of how things could be. Their minds were limited to ‘small thinking’.  Taking what was given, instead of taking what they could have (in God’s will).  Our children need visionaries, who have a plan, purpose, and goal for their life and parents/guardians who identify their talents and play an active role in their development.

As I did, you may need to refocus. Ask God for wisdom to help encourage and motivate your child. It may financially, mentally, and emotionally cost you, but in the long run; it will pay off. Whether your child will see the good in your efforts and choose to apply the principles they learned, while with you, is their decision. The peace of God, that you have done your part will be yours.

Be encouraged.

If you desire to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please click on the link below.

http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things