I hate that word

A few years ago, I trained a cheerful, down-to-earth; speak her mind, and high-spirited lady. She was very likable and an easy to talk with. Unfortunately, I was unable to help her reach her ultimate fat loss goals. At the beginning of each week, she would inform me of her past weekend diet. Typically, her verbal food journal would end with my sigh of anguish followed by words of encouragement about the fundamental dos and don’ts towards losing body fat. Before I could complete my spill, she would say, “I know, I know, I know”… However, I would still give my speech repeatedly exclaiming – DISCIPLINE; in which she would respond, I hate that word! I hate that word, too. 

Sometimes, I play the role of a workaholic. I use to believe there were all pros and no cons to working hard, until recently when my body starting ‘acting out’. The month of October was a scary one. It included a series of tests for diagnosing multiple sclerosis, a month long annoying eye twitch and a week of right side facial numbness (TMJ), along with swelling of my right knee, and hernia in my right groin. 

Every one of my symptoms and medical issues could have been caused by something other than fatigue. However, I’m convinced that my symptoms were brought on by a lack of rest and sleep. With the significant amount of research connecting fatigue to preventable diseases, you would think that this personal trainer would get more rest. Well, I didn’t and I’m hoping that I’ve learned my lesson.

We all struggle with something that adversely affects our overall health. I’ve found that the warning signs normally aren’t enough for most to discontinue their unhealthy habits. Typically, it takes our life being derailed or feared lost before we seriously deal with an issue.

In Genesis 19, there’s a story about a family visited by angels. They were told to leave their city because it was going to be destroyed. The family hesitated. The bible states that under God’s compassion, the angels grabbed their hands to promptly direct them to safety. While the land was being destroyed, they were encouraged not to look back. Unfortunately, the family’s mother looked back and lost her life.

To me, this story portrays the typical stages of decision making in most people’s lives. We are offered words of wisdom, specific instruction, and grace; with this, our eventual outcome depends on our willingness to accept sound advice and follow through. No matter how much we desire a positive outcome; we have to be discipline in completing the necessary steps for a better quality of life.

My encouragement: Don’t look back. If you choose to look back, quickly and positively reflect. Deal with the past by moving forward and replacing those old destructive habits with positive, life-building traits. Tell someone (whether it be a ‘hater’ or a friend) what you plan to do for consistent accountability. Then, Commit your ways to God and be discipline in consistently following the steps needed to improve.  

My goal is to rest smarter and more. What is yours?

We are all being brainwashed

As my wife cried and honestly expressed, I thought to myself ‘Geez …but I do ask you how you are doing (everyday)?’ I pleaded my case, but I knew that winning this conversation wasn’t going to fix the problem. Ultimately, I needed to humble myself to serve and love a little more in areas, which cause me discomfort. The worse about all this is that ‘I’m tired of adapting!’ We’ve been married for more than seven years and she should know the deal by now, right? Maybe… but since I married a woman with certain needs that I’m obviously not fulfilling; I ‘gotta step my game up’.

Our marriage had hit another ‘fork in the road’ and a decision needed to be made. Luckily, when it comes to my marital relationship, I’m a purpose-driven servant refusing to offer my wife a legitimate reason to mentally or physically detach from me. Hopefully, this will keep me married for a lifetime. I know my wife’s worth. I’ll do what I need to do within the will of God to keep her heart and earthly attention.

There’s daily moments in life where opportunities to decide are present. Whether you recognized life asked you a question or not, you made a choice. As days pass, your answers to life’s questions play out. Typically in hindsight, we can pinpoint when and what decisions were made. From your circle of influence to your sources of entertainment, what you accept in your life molds the way you think and process information. Whether we admit it or not, we are all being brainwashed.

One of the best gifts that God gave man is free will. We are allowed to program ourselves to operate the way we desire. Our words and actions are a direct reflection of our sources of inspiration and what we sincerely value. Before any positive changes are made, we all have to take ownership. Sometimes what we do with our time, energy, effort, and expenses doesn’t match what our mouth says we value. This is a major conflict of interest, which will cause you serious heartache.

When there are discrepancies with what I say I value most, I evaluate the direction of my time, energy, effort, and expenses. Typically, the root cause of my issues are that those four identities are not aligned with the course I desire my life. From my experience, this is the case with most people. We say we want one thing, but practice behaviors which lead to a different spiritual, mental, relational, physical, and financial lifestyle.

Be honest with yourself and others about your values. If you don’t like what your lifestyle reflects as worthwhile, make some changes like surrounding yourself with reminders and encouragers of your morals. For me, my Christian faith is an endless, unchanging, and sustaining-proven source for a productive and fulfilling life. For example, regarding my relational issue with my wife; God has provided me many models of grace, sacrificial service, and understanding, while commanding and encouraging me to do the same.

You are being influenced. Who and what is influencing you? Is your source worthy of following and consistently reflecting your values? Where is your source leading you?

Commit for the 1st time –
http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

Commit to SERVE –
http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=does_god_really_want_me_to_serve_all_things

Standing to The Star-Spangled Banner

Lately, I’ve been having many blunt conversations with my oldest son about sex, race, religion, politics, and relationships. I’ve come to the conclusion that what I value most (my faith) is what I pray and hope will transfer into a way of life for him. In trying to connect with him, I’ve used countless examples. Some ‘hit’, while other analogies clearly missed the mark. He has expressed a genuine interest in my personal history. As a matter of fact, his little brother and he constantly ask me to tell them a story during dinner.

The other day, I pitched an idea to have a Christmas play at our house, possibly in the garage or indoors. Of course, the play was going to be about Jesus with a comical spin intending to entertain and encourage our neighbors. Nothing sacrilegious, but a God honoring rendition of the ‘reason for the season’. Needless to say, they ‘shot it down’. Our eldest verbally expressed that mentioning Jesus may be offensive to some people and that it was a private matter.

Say what?!?

He went on to say that his school asked them if they wanted to make holiday cards, which he decided he did. While making the cards, he states his teacher instructed them not to write ‘Merry Christmas’ on the card; due to a possibly of offending some recipients, who may not celebrate Christmas. Our assumption is he translated her words into thinking that mentioning Jesus Christ in public was offensive.

As many Sunday schools, Christian camps, open expressions of Christian faith, Christian prayers, and bible verses, my son have experienced; he still was influenced into believing his faith wasn’t a matter to be demonstratively expressed.This opened the door to share a childhood story.

Being quite the odd ball in school, I had a tough time connecting with the “cool” kids. Thank God for sports, because it sincerely was my saving grace; although, athletics did bring its challenges. The overall biggest trial for me was the pre-game ritual of standing to the Star-Spangled Banner. In my community, Christianity wasn’t the primary faith. Differentiating from my family's culture, the prevalent religion didn’t stand for the playing of the United States’ national anthem – they sat. So hearing, ‘Oh, say can you see…’ before every game, sometimes created more anxiety than the actual game.

One time, while visiting a rival high school game with some classmates, I chose not to stand during the playing of the national anthem. I remember feeling extremely awkward; as it was my culture to revere this national hymn.  I decided from that point, if placed in the predicament again, that I would stand. In my adolescent mind, there was no righteous cause or purpose – other than, it was very unnatural for me. The awkwardness to sit outweighed the awkwardness to stand. Although, my culture was the minority in my small town; it was sufficient to encourage me to stand (pun intended). I pray that my children will encounter the same conviction to ‘stand’ for God.

Jesus Christ commissioned Christians to make disciples.  Will this ever get accomplished, if we are quiet and politically correct in our actions and words? I would argue that it’s virtually impossible.

In the past week, I have visited with and heard from several Christians who are upset about the re-election of President Barack Obama. In addition, I’ve read some unbelievable anti-Obama Facebook and Twitter post. My thought process behind this all is… ‘Do you really believe your emotional ‘shoot from the hip’ reaction to the presidential election is going to change the world?’ The likelihood of someone altering their point of view or religious belief from being called ‘dumb, uninformed, baby killer, and ungodly’ is highly doubtful. Yet it seems, a common way of expression for dislike. This clearly is not an effective way to communicate, positively influence, or lead anyone. Furthermore, Jesus Christ modeled no behaviors which promote these actions. Instead, he affectionately served his ‘circle of influence’ in every way possible -- allowing his actions and words to bring about change. At times, he may have spoken in parables; however, his intentions and instructions were clear.

How does this relate to you? Personally, I have a great opportunity. My children will face faith oppositions throughout their school years and beyond. As the leader of my home, I must showcase Christianity consistently and boldly. If I never demonstrate my faith, then bash my children for their inactions; there’s a strong probability that they would turn with ‘deaf ears’.

Being proactive is key. Identify problems before they occur is difficult; however, wisdom points to your lack of involvement and root causes. Jesus Christ wasn’t passive aggressive – he was direct. He was focused and committed. People knew his principles. I believe we should be the same. Most recoveries take place when Christians are intentional and purpose driven. When our ‘circle of influence’ responds in a way that is contrary to our faith, we should ask ourselves, “What am I constructively doing to make a difference?” If you are not deliberately doing anything, it’s possible that you are violating a direct commandment given by Jesus Christ.

Get involve and allow your action and words to speak God’s will! Don’t have a seat, when God has directed you to stand. Proactive boldness should be a characteristic of the Christian culture, not reactive boldness. Remember, God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.  Therefore, anyone who rejects… instruction does not reject a human being but God…

If you feel an urge to recommit or commit your life to God’s will, please select the link below.

Commit for the 1^st time –

http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

Commit to SERVE –

http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=does_god_really_want_me_to_serve_all_things

“Hey dad, there’s beer in the fridge!”

If you are a follower of my blog, you are aware that I have occasionally exalted my parent’s; however, they were not perfect. In the most honorable and respectable way that I can say this, my dad was an alcoholic. I place much emphasis on ‘WAS’, because while I was in college, he completely discontinued drinking. Unfortunately during my childhood, he did not provide the best example of ‘what is considered’ healthy alcohol consumption. Due to this, I believe, an unhealthy view of drinking was developed.  I have always been ‘wishy-washy’ towards social drinking.  

When our oldest son was younger, my wife and I chose to call any type of alcoholic drink - grown folk’s juice. He would ask, ‘Hey, what are you drinking? May I have some?’ Our consistent reply… ‘No, you can’t. This is grown folk’s juice’. As he has become older, we didn’t hide the occasional wine bottle or mixed drink. However, he has never seen beer in the fridge. The other day while grabbing a few items at a local Wal-Mart, I came across the beer cooler. A desire quickly crossed my mind and I followed my thought to purchase a six-pack of 8 ounce Coors Light (I’m a lightweight!). After drinking two, I pulled the other four from the freezer and placed them in the fridge. The very next day, while I was outside tending our flower bed, my oldest son opened the garage’s entry door and yelled “Hey dad, there’s beer in the fridge!” Immediately, I was embarrassed and thought, “Great, son... Thanks for sharing… Would you like to mention how I backed up the toilet, too?” However, instead of yelling at my kid, my wife and I decided to use this as an opportunity to visit with him about alcohol. 

We discovered that my son judged me based on his discovery of beer. He felt that I (we) shouldn’t drink at all. We were surprised by his judgment. Mostly, our amazement centered around his views on alcohol. We’ve never taught condemnation of drinking; as a matter of fact, we did the exact opposite. We drank wine and margaritas in his presence; however, he has never witnessed us drunk or hosting parties including drinking.  

I did my best explanation of how ‘a drink’ was not considered a sin and closed the dispute acknowledging his entitlement to his own views. My only saving grace was reflecting on his love for soft drinks. One day, after witnessing his onslaught of ‘suicides’, his mom and I limited him to a one cup (filled with ice) soft drink per outing. Even after explaining soda’s lack of nutritional value, he continues. At an early age, he was taught that soft drinks are liquid candy to simply be enjoyed as a treat. I informed him that alcohol was the same, but for adults over the age of 21. Thankfully, he didn’t bring up its mind altering affects because my argument possibly would have been highly ineffective.

Now, I’m processing our conversation.  What comes to mind is 1 Corinthians 14:33, which refers to God not being associated with confusion. The bible passage includes this scripture within God’s instruction for orderly worship. Here are more scriptures that come to mind: 1 Corinthians 10:31-33. These three verses encouraged the following: 1. whatever you eat, drink, or do – do all to the glory of God, 2. cause no one to stumble in their faith by your actions, and 3. allow what you do to lead others to Christ. This group of scriptures was under ‘Do all to the Glory of God’ section. Combining the subtitle of these two passages, Orderly Worship + Do all to the Glory of God, I’m wrestling with a different conclusion.

My wife and kids are well aware of my passions towards allowing the bible to govern our life. I would have to admit that it would be quite hypocritical to not allow my spirit to be transformed by these scriptures. Also, I believe that I would be doing my son a huge disservice by not revisiting this issue. Although, I still do not believe that ‘a drink’ will send you to hell. I now have a different point of view. My consistent goal is to align my spirit with God’s view. To accomplish a level of worship and actions that is pleasing to Him. Based on what I read and my son’s drinking perception, I have some serious praying and decision making to do.

The first step to aligning your will with God’s will is accepting His way of salvation.
http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

The Whistleblower

For 4 years now, our street has hosted an annual spring block party. Neighboring streets join us to celebrate a day of community fellowship from bounce houses, grilling, to adult and children interactive games. It’s a great way to become familiar with your neighbors, while enjoying awesome weather and eating an array of food.


Each year (mid-party), I’m allowed the opportunity to flex my inner game show host by leading the children and adults into prize-winning competitive, fun games. Contending against bounce houses is tough. Sustaining kid’s attention, while water is gushing out of a 32 feet tall by 25 feet long slide/bounce house is challenging but cool. Typically, I lose my voice; so this year, I decided to use a whistle as a signal for starting and stopping. It worked extremely well until we played musical chairs.

If you know anything about or ever played musical chairs, you know that this game is enjoyable for the audience and participants. However, it can easily become aggressive promoting children and adults to become emotionally upset. Since I didn’t properly plan, there was no stereo involved. The children moved to the tunes of my lovely whistled-out symphony.

Before we began the game, there were several practice rounds to assure every kid understood the rules. Realizing that I could be biased by supporting my two sons, I informed the audience that I would be turning my back to the ‘musical chair-ers’. Also, the audience was told that they would have to hold the children accountable to the rules of the game. If they were out, let them know. Adding my own special touch, they were also informed, ‘if they started to cry to promptly find their mom…’ Tacky I know, but it was quite hilarious because some kids actually did, including my oldest. Geez!

We began the game. Of course, the youngest children were out first. As I turned around to remove each chair, you could sense the intensity thickening and anxiety increasing. With only 5 kids remaining, parents became more verbally demonstrative. They exclaimed to me, ‘They are sitting down before you blow the whistle! They are holding on to a chair!’ So after getting down to three children, I re-did the games and reinforced the rules. Finally, I asked the crowd, ‘why do you keep telling me – tell them – hold them responsible...’ After all, they were seeing what was happening. My back was intentionally facing them. Immediately, I received inspiration for this blog.

The message is simple. If you see someone doing something that would harm them, verbally hold them accountable (in love). Please - do not wait for someone else to intervene, when you are capable. Do not back down from ‘reinforcing the rules’. If you do not have a relationship with them, but are concern about their well-being; find a way to first demonstrate love (Hebrews 12:6). After doing so, let them know that they are harming themselves. Don’t wait for ‘the whistleblower’ to expose. He will not be as nice.

Be ready when the whistle blows!
http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

Charge It 2 da Game

Ever had a time, were you simply didn’t want to get out of bed; when you just wanted to turn off the alarm instead of hitting snooze multiple times? Have you ever wanted to punch (in the face) someone who tailgated you, while obnoxiously honking their horn eventually cutting you to arrive at their destination 15 seconds earlier? You may not have experienced these scenarios, but I’m confident that there have been times throughout your life when your emotions almost got or did get the best of you.

If ‘old me’ could go back in time and talk with ‘young me’, one of the main topics addressed would be not to base my decisions by my emotions. Some of the biggest mistakes in life, I’ve made, were created by how I felt at the moment. Without using discernment and looking at the obvious end results, I began a many failed pursuit. Some people believe that experience is a good teacher; however, looking at the world’s current affairs and society’s repeated offenses; I would strongly argue with this school of thought.In most cases, deciding not to act on your initial emotions leads to a better outcome. Unfortunately, this is slowly becoming a lost art. The discipline and will power needed to forgo an immediate response is becoming extinct. This principle is needed to attain a sustainable quality of life.

One of my biggest struggles as a young adult was spending money (that I didn’t have). In 1998, there was a rap artist by the name of Silkk The Shocker. He released an album entitled ‘Charge It 2 da Game’. This became my slogan when I used my credit card to purchase something that I needed to maintain an image, ‘Charge it to the game!’ Without going into great detail of this end result, anyone who owns a credit card knows how this story can and will conclude. Luckily for me, I had an epiphany and became really good friends with a Dave Ramsey fanatic, who encouraged me to pay off and stay out of debt. Is this emotionally, mentally, or socially easy to do? Absolutely not, but all people in high amounts of debt know, that living debt free truly gives one peace of mind and freedom to thoroughly enjoy life. So why aren’t more people making a decision to stay clear from relationship destroying debt? Consider their emotions.

Bad financial decisions are only one example of the ‘shoot from the hip’ emotional response. Proverbs 29:11 states ‘A fool expresses all his emotions, but a wise person controls them’ (God’s Word Translation). This is such a valuable amount of wisdom wrapped up in one sentence. Take heed. Think about the consequences of your emotional decisions. Even when you thoroughly process and ‘marinate’ on deciding; allow yourself to be challenged. What are the qualifications of your advisers? Do they have a track record of on-going success in the areas that you ponder?  Remember this, God covers it all. Challenge him in your decision making to give you an answer. Instead of picking up the phone, ‘drop to your knees’. Connect with Him through Jesus Christ, so you can petition with boldness as a righteous child of God. 

If you desire to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please click on the link below.

http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things