Failure to ‘pass on’ the fundamentals

For me, one of the most exciting things about being a dad is watching my children compete. I’m a competitive person who sometimes allows my individuality to get in the way of simply enjoying the moment. As a dad, I have no control over my son’s competitive level or interest. This is a constant battle for me that I daily have to surrender for a solid ‘peace of mind’.

Last year, my oldest son began playing basketball. I assistant coached him in his first recreation league. It was bittersweet. Our team had the league best record and won the tournament championship; however, my boy struggled. He was extremely frustrated with the complexity of basketball. Quite honestly, I believed he was relieved when the season ended.

Unfortunately for him, his time of sitting around during the summer had ended. In addition to the usual Christian and educational/fun camps, he was going to attend a few basketball camps. He, like most young boys, needed direction and a challenge.

The summer of 2012 was productive for his development. He, his mom, and I were pleased and noticed a difference, physically and socially. Fortunately, he was ready for additional challenges. He was granted the opportunity to play with more developed players last fall. Again, he fought to solidify an identity on a winning team; however, his liking for this sport grew. Also, I struggled watching him struggle. I clearly had to accept responsibility that his lack of basketball knowledge was clearly an indication of my failure to ‘pass on’ the fundamentals.

My disappointment centered on my child’s reflection of me. Athletically competing through college is not a badge I have chosen to wear publicly, but it is something that I am proud of. I believe that my children have the capacity to achieve the same. I had clearly failed to communicate something that is important to me.

Fortunately, God is faithful in providing moments that reflect what you have taught. Throughout all the struggles of my son developing into a player, many faith talks involving scriptures occurred. His battle made God’s Word more relevant and applicable. Also, the essentials of God’s plan were easier translated throughout his individual victories and tribulations. To simply put it, I believe that God has become more real to him.

After his most recent season ended, my wife and I took the time to tell him our individual faith ‘come to Jesus’ stories. The theme of our stories noticeably was repentance… turning away from our sin and towards God’s plan. He was visibly surprised and inquisitive about our past and the direction we WERE headed. I believed this impacted him further. Within weeks following this experience, he walked into our bedroom genuinely expressing sorrow for unconfessed sins prompting his mom to pray with him. The next day, I had a major revelation.

My son has yet to master dribbling, shooting, or defending, but he has successfully demonstrated one of the fundamental requirements to having a good relationship with God - repenting. As a Christian father, that is truly something to be proud. I can quickly think of a handful of Christian parents who dream of their child sorrowfully repenting.

This is what we have been and are working towards – the eternal, not the temporary.

… the training of the body has a limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:8 HCSB

Oh, how I love seeing him score, but his relationship with God has and will always be more important. I pray that God will always hold me accountable to this truth.

                                                                                                                                         

If you desire to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please click on the link below.

http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

Standing to The Star-Spangled Banner

Lately, I’ve been having many blunt conversations with my oldest son about sex, race, religion, politics, and relationships. I’ve come to the conclusion that what I value most (my faith) is what I pray and hope will transfer into a way of life for him. In trying to connect with him, I’ve used countless examples. Some ‘hit’, while other analogies clearly missed the mark. He has expressed a genuine interest in my personal history. As a matter of fact, his little brother and he constantly ask me to tell them a story during dinner.

The other day, I pitched an idea to have a Christmas play at our house, possibly in the garage or indoors. Of course, the play was going to be about Jesus with a comical spin intending to entertain and encourage our neighbors. Nothing sacrilegious, but a God honoring rendition of the ‘reason for the season’. Needless to say, they ‘shot it down’. Our eldest verbally expressed that mentioning Jesus may be offensive to some people and that it was a private matter.

Say what?!?

He went on to say that his school asked them if they wanted to make holiday cards, which he decided he did. While making the cards, he states his teacher instructed them not to write ‘Merry Christmas’ on the card; due to a possibly of offending some recipients, who may not celebrate Christmas. Our assumption is he translated her words into thinking that mentioning Jesus Christ in public was offensive.

As many Sunday schools, Christian camps, open expressions of Christian faith, Christian prayers, and bible verses, my son have experienced; he still was influenced into believing his faith wasn’t a matter to be demonstratively expressed.This opened the door to share a childhood story.

Being quite the odd ball in school, I had a tough time connecting with the “cool” kids. Thank God for sports, because it sincerely was my saving grace; although, athletics did bring its challenges. The overall biggest trial for me was the pre-game ritual of standing to the Star-Spangled Banner. In my community, Christianity wasn’t the primary faith. Differentiating from my family's culture, the prevalent religion didn’t stand for the playing of the United States’ national anthem – they sat. So hearing, ‘Oh, say can you see…’ before every game, sometimes created more anxiety than the actual game.

One time, while visiting a rival high school game with some classmates, I chose not to stand during the playing of the national anthem. I remember feeling extremely awkward; as it was my culture to revere this national hymn.  I decided from that point, if placed in the predicament again, that I would stand. In my adolescent mind, there was no righteous cause or purpose – other than, it was very unnatural for me. The awkwardness to sit outweighed the awkwardness to stand. Although, my culture was the minority in my small town; it was sufficient to encourage me to stand (pun intended). I pray that my children will encounter the same conviction to ‘stand’ for God.

Jesus Christ commissioned Christians to make disciples.  Will this ever get accomplished, if we are quiet and politically correct in our actions and words? I would argue that it’s virtually impossible.

In the past week, I have visited with and heard from several Christians who are upset about the re-election of President Barack Obama. In addition, I’ve read some unbelievable anti-Obama Facebook and Twitter post. My thought process behind this all is… ‘Do you really believe your emotional ‘shoot from the hip’ reaction to the presidential election is going to change the world?’ The likelihood of someone altering their point of view or religious belief from being called ‘dumb, uninformed, baby killer, and ungodly’ is highly doubtful. Yet it seems, a common way of expression for dislike. This clearly is not an effective way to communicate, positively influence, or lead anyone. Furthermore, Jesus Christ modeled no behaviors which promote these actions. Instead, he affectionately served his ‘circle of influence’ in every way possible -- allowing his actions and words to bring about change. At times, he may have spoken in parables; however, his intentions and instructions were clear.

How does this relate to you? Personally, I have a great opportunity. My children will face faith oppositions throughout their school years and beyond. As the leader of my home, I must showcase Christianity consistently and boldly. If I never demonstrate my faith, then bash my children for their inactions; there’s a strong probability that they would turn with ‘deaf ears’.

Being proactive is key. Identify problems before they occur is difficult; however, wisdom points to your lack of involvement and root causes. Jesus Christ wasn’t passive aggressive – he was direct. He was focused and committed. People knew his principles. I believe we should be the same. Most recoveries take place when Christians are intentional and purpose driven. When our ‘circle of influence’ responds in a way that is contrary to our faith, we should ask ourselves, “What am I constructively doing to make a difference?” If you are not deliberately doing anything, it’s possible that you are violating a direct commandment given by Jesus Christ.

Get involve and allow your action and words to speak God’s will! Don’t have a seat, when God has directed you to stand. Proactive boldness should be a characteristic of the Christian culture, not reactive boldness. Remember, God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.  Therefore, anyone who rejects… instruction does not reject a human being but God…

If you feel an urge to recommit or commit your life to God’s will, please select the link below.

Commit for the 1^st time –

http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

Commit to SERVE –

http://www.intouch.org/you/all-things-are-new/content?topic=does_god_really_want_me_to_serve_all_things

I couldn't agree more!

Manhood as defined by the Bible requires men to put the needs and best interests of others before their own. It's about living sacrificially. A man uses his strength and influence to help others and defend those who cannot defend themselves. Read how manly this verse sounds and how it speaks powerfully to a man's heart:

"I rescued the poor who cried for help and the fatherless who had none to assist him...I made the widows heart sing...I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger. I broke the fangs of the wicked and snatched the victims from their teeth." Job 29:12, 13, 15-17 (NIV).

God gives men a mandate throughout the bible to protect women and children and be His representative here on earth. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress" James 1:27 (NIV)…

Authentic men are passionate, fierce, and noble-they care. In fact, they are a little dangerous, but it's a good dangerous. You might not see this passion on the exterior, but it's bubbling under pressure just beneath the surface, forcing its way into every area of his life. They have a spiritual longing for adventure, for a battle to fight that's bigger than themselves, for significance in their lives. Like modern-day gladiators they stand in the ring facing the challenges of life with courage and passion.

Wow! I couldn’t agree more. Each aging year, I become more aware of my mortality. I've drawn the conclusion that those who are honored in their afterlife -- gave their lives for the well-being of others. Whether it was a symbolic or literal death, the individuals most consider truly worthy of honor are those who gave up something for their present quality of life.

When is the last time that you gave something of yourself without expecting a return? Possibly today or yesterday for your kid… How about outside of your immediate family? Quite honestly, I am challenged by the Bible’s encouragement to look after ‘orphans and widows’. I can’t recall the last time I intentionally served a parentless child or a woman who had lost a husband. In America, there’s a growing trend of men who choose not to care for their own children, yet alone caring for orphans and widows.

Here are some direct challenges inspired from the quote posted above.

1. What would your family, friends, and peers say that you are passionate about? Does your passion align with God’s will? Do you care if your passions support His will?

2. What would those who are in your circle of influence say you are ‘fighting’ that will influence eternity (‘bigger than you’)? If you were to die today, what would your family say you stood for?

3. Is there proof that you demonstrate courage in pursuing your passions and dealing with daily life issues?

Knowing the ‘for sure’ answers to these questions may give the direction, which you are headed. If you would be disappointed with your representation at your own funeral; it’s time to make some changes. Connect your will to God’s plan, and go after what you really want out of life. Living a life for others with good intentions and under God’s authority is fulfilling, exciting, and culture altering.

Small unusual steps towards your goals are better than not moving at all. http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things

The excerpt was taken from a blog entitled In Search of Masculinity –Part 2 (http://blogs.christianpost.com/parenting/in-search-of-masculinity-part-2-622/) written by Rick I. Johnson.

$250

A healthy (new) baby boy, new job in a location I strongly desired to be, new home, wife being able to become a stay at home mom… it was exciting times! Unfortunately with moving to a new city, there was a short season of staying in hotels and driving or flying home on my off days to visit my family. This was somewhat stressful, but easily manageable because I knew it was temporary.


After working many 12 hour days in a row, I was able to fly home for two days. My wife and baby son picked me up from the airport… I was very excited to see them. While driving home, my wife gave a ‘run down’ of her week. She clearly was enjoying her time away from work. Although, my wife was happy it was apparent that she had a few struggles in her new role. One scenario made this painfully clear.

Here’s my disclaimer: Sometimes, I can be a control freak. I have a habit of creating excel spreadsheets for family budgets, vacations, etc. If my wife spends a dollar, I (use to) want to know. Not really a great habit to have, when you are married to an independent woman who took care of herself and a child for two years before allowing your support. Anyways… back to the drive home from the airport.

My wife said, ‘I did something good for our family!’ Immediately, I sighed (in my heart). ‘A guy came around selling steaks in his truck and I got a deal for $250’. My immediate reply: “Really?!? Steaks out of a deep freezer from the back of pickup. Really?!? This can’t be happening. You need to give it back. Call and tell him to pick up the meat before he cashes the check. As soon as we get home!”

I was very upset. Thankfully, we had the money to fund the unnecessary purchase, but it was clearly the lack of communication and the amount paid which caused concern. I knew that my wife’s intentions were good. She really thought (and may still feel) that this was a good investment; however, the fact that we did not communicate about such a purchase upset me. Knowing our roles and sharing major decisions were seriously the biggest struggles we faced in the beginning stages of our relationship. After only 3 pre-marital counseling sessions, our counselor discerned that we would be challenged in these areas. What an understatement! With 6 years of marriage ‘under our belt’, we do a better job of communicating and staying within our God-given roles. We have worked out a few kinks with systems that suit our personalities. We still have a way to go, but truly things have gotten better.

Sometimes, the hardest thing to do in all relationships is peacefully accepting your role. I have found that most people have an opinion of how someone is doing a job wrong. It’s human nature. Whether it be the boss’ organization, the coach’s play, or the pastor’s sermon; someone is critiquing. Even if the criticism is legitimate, it’s a form of rebellion. Unfortunately, God designed authority along with roles and responsibilities. Typically, a team of people are needed to successfully accomplish most goals. One person choosing to step outside the realms of their roles, while consistently questioning authority is detrimental to the healthy development of others. Ask Aaron and Miriam (Numbers 12:1-15)!

Do your best in the role you currently have. You will find that your ultimate calling will be fulfilled through your willingness to obey God (Psalms 138:8), where you are at and by cultivating your talents. God has a plan for us all. No one man’s gift is greater than another. We are all valuable. Learn from those in leadership. If you think you can do it better, when your time comes- DO IT BETTER!

Give Jesus your heart and life & see what God will do with it.
http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things