Winters in the
My first year of graduate school, I dated a white girl who grew up in the Southwest region of the United States. Her high school boyfriend was Hispanic and according to her, he was well accepted by her parents. However, when they discovered their 19 year old daughter was dating an African American, she received a letter in the mail. The note informed her that if she continued to date “A BLACK”, that she would no longer receive any financial assistance for college. I sincerely couldn’t believe her parent’s level of racist audacity and distaste and degrading of a darker class of people. This was my second memorable encounter with direct racism.
I allowed the direct and indirect episodes to take its toll on my (already limited supply of) self-confidence. In time, I chose to use the adversity as motivation to achieve the mockers’ definition of success. Rejection was my fuel. The pursuit of worldly security became an aim. However, my ‘I’ll show them’ attitude proved unhealthy. The harder I worked, the more I ‘sold-out’ to something I quite frankly could care less. My pursuit to prove became the subtle ‘chase of being accepted’. I became a prisoner to what I failed to release. Other’s acceptance was symbolic bars to my self-created prison cell. In order to be free, I had to make a conscious decision to let go of the past remarks and hatred. The process of self-acceptance began.
Discovering what really made me happy, while aligning it to God’s will was painful. A career personality test directed me towards service jobs such as a coach or clergy. My disappointment was the earning potential and the common culture connection to these job titles. I allowed this possible forecast stereotype to distant me from what I enjoyed. The past rejection of ‘not being enough’ along with discovering my talents were a consistent internal struggle. My desire to win this invisible battle was getting the best of me. I discovered no level of success could ever help me attain acceptance by those who prejudged me for uncontrollable reasons.
Accepting myself and God’s will enhanced my Christian faith. Living a Christian lifestyle involves a certain amount of rejection. Although, this is for reasons you can control. In accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and practicing His teachings, you can expect for some to consider you ‘a little squirrelly’. Choosing not to completely obey God in certain areas, due to fear of rejection is common. The more radical you become about your faith, the more isolation you can expect from the world. It is safe to say my experiences with racism has better prepared me for His future (Romans 8:28). Permitting self-acceptance and forgiveness has been linked to more radical living for Jesus Christ.
If you chose this Life, your feelings will be hurt. You will be judged by the actions of those who came before you claiming the same Name. All the life experiences of the person God calls you to minister will be projected on to you. Assumptions and stereotypes, which may be out of your control, will be associated with you when claiming the Christian faith. Expect it. However, remember that God has given you power to love… power to have self-discipline to live a Christian life (2 Timothy 1:7), no matter anyone’s view or judgment. God has promised that this Power will eventually win the battle (Philippians 2:1-11). You simply ‘stay the course’ and remain faithful in professing and living like Jesus Christ is Lord! He will fight all your battles for you.
If you desire to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, please click on the link below.
