Yesterday, I asked my oldest son was there anyone he looked up to?
He shrugged his shoulders and said ‘no’. As a dad, I’m not quite sure how to handle
that. I try pretty hard to be a good influence and role model for my sons.
My oldest is an early teen. His hobbies are video gaming, ‘battling’
spinning tops, and collecting Japanese action adventure inspired cards. To
quickly sum it up, I have no interest in his passions. They are totally foreign
and unexciting to me. Although, I do financially support his fix.
Recently, I signed him up for a basketball league. His mom and I
were patiently waiting on him to express some interest in sports; however, this
never really happened. Our fear of issues attached with not having structured extracurricular
activities promoted us to ‘get the ball rolling’.
Luckily, he was placed on the most talented team in this novice
league. They ended the season undefeated champions. At the completion of the
championship game and award ceremonies, we had a light conversation about the
season. I asked several questions to filter his opinion and true emotions. His
response fed to one common subject, ‘I’m not sure if I want to continue because
it’s hard’. Although, he verbally and
genuinely expressed having fun; the complex game of basketball took its toll.
He often looked panicky. The occasional glance for confirmation was demonstrated
in every game. His body language consistently shouted ‘am I’m doing the right
thing?’ This culture was foreign to him.
What a dilemma?
Most people make decisions based on life experiences. Hopefully,
we (all) learn from our mistakes and make better choices. When I was a child,
there was a distinct time that my father unknowingly taught a principle.
One cold, snowy winter day in the Midwest, my dad decided that he
was going to cut and gather a few truckloads of wood. As usual, I was forced to
tag along. After my fingers went numb and my father was content with his work,
we headed home. This same day, the varsity basketball team was having mandatory
basketball practice. I was tired, and could care less, if I attended practice. As
a freshman, my playing time was extremely limited and I was mostly considered a
practice dummy. However, my father could sincerely careless of my fatigue and
lackluster intents. He did not ask me if I wanted to go or how I felt about
going, but instead drove me to practice and sat in the stands as I fumbled my
way through the 90 minutes of torture. I
distinctly remember hating every minute of practice and my father, this day. However,
by the end of the basketball season, I played a role in helping our team win a
major post-season tournament. Without
the discipline my father instilled, this possibly could not have been. Although,
I truly never developed a passion for basketball, the requirements towards rising
in this sport were rewarding and integral in my adult development.
Am I’m saying that my son will have to play the same sport as I to
learn the same lessons? I’m not. I’m conveying that children need direction, discipline,
and consistent reinforcement to develop. Although, my son didn’t acknowledge a
role model; (I believe) his current role models are electronically
manipulating images and mythical creatures. Unfortunately for him, these
examples do not have the ability to instill work ethic. You do.
In the Old Testament, there are plenty examples of father’s
blessing their children. God set the model by his calling of Israel. He spoke
their legacy before it took place. Although, they fought the new way of
thinking and living; the willingness to be obedient and submissive to His
authority eventually paid off. God, in his fatherly role, knew what was best for
his children. He had a vision and purpose in mind and remained consistent until
it was fulfilled. His concern for their overall, long term well-being superseded
their immediate comfort. The Israelites’ blatant defiance during the process
demonstrates their lack of vision and purpose. Unfortunately, they were former slaves
lacking a positive role model of how things could be. Their minds
were limited to ‘small thinking’. Taking
what was given, instead of taking what they could have (in God’s will). Our children need visionaries, who have a
plan, purpose, and goal for their life and parents/guardians who identify their
talents and play an active role in their development.
As
I did, you may need to refocus. Ask God for wisdom to help encourage and
motivate your child. It may financially, mentally, and emotionally cost you,
but in the long run; it will pay off. Whether your child will see the good in
your efforts and choose to apply the principles they learned, while with you,
is their decision. The peace of God, that you have done your part will be yours.
Be
encouraged.
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Savior, please click on the link below.
