A healthy (new) baby boy, new job in a location I strongly desired to be, new home, wife being able to become a stay at home mom… it was exciting times! Unfortunately with moving to a new city, there was a short season of staying in hotels and driving or flying home on my off days to visit my family. This was somewhat stressful, but easily manageable because I knew it was temporary.
After working many 12 hour days in a row, I was able to fly home for two days. My wife and baby son picked me up from the airport… I was very excited to see them. While driving home, my wife gave a ‘run down’ of her week. She clearly was enjoying her time away from work. Although, my wife was happy it was apparent that she had a few struggles in her new role. One scenario made this painfully clear.
Here’s my disclaimer: Sometimes, I can be a control freak. I have a habit of creating excel spreadsheets for family budgets, vacations, etc. If my wife spends a dollar, I (use to) want to know. Not really a great habit to have, when you are married to an independent woman who took care of herself and a child for two years before allowing your support. Anyways… back to the drive home from the airport.
My wife said, ‘I did something good for our family!’ Immediately, I sighed (in my heart). ‘A guy came around selling steaks in his truck and I got a deal for $250’. My immediate reply: “Really?!? Steaks out of a deep freezer from the back of pickup. Really?!? This can’t be happening. You need to give it back. Call and tell him to pick up the meat before he cashes the check. As soon as we get home!”
I was very upset. Thankfully, we had the money to fund the unnecessary purchase, but it was clearly the lack of communication and the amount paid which caused concern. I knew that my wife’s intentions were good. She really thought (and may still feel) that this was a good investment; however, the fact that we did not communicate about such a purchase upset me. Knowing our roles and sharing major decisions were seriously the biggest struggles we faced in the beginning stages of our relationship. After only 3 pre-marital counseling sessions, our counselor discerned that we would be challenged in these areas. What an understatement! With 6 years of marriage ‘under our belt’, we do a better job of communicating and staying within our God-given roles. We have worked out a few kinks with systems that suit our personalities. We still have a way to go, but truly things have gotten better.
Sometimes, the hardest thing to do in all relationships is peacefully accepting your role. I have found that most people have an opinion of how someone is doing a job wrong. It’s human nature. Whether it be the boss’ organization, the coach’s play, or the pastor’s sermon; someone is critiquing. Even if the criticism is legitimate, it’s a form of rebellion. Unfortunately, God designed authority along with roles and responsibilities. Typically, a team of people are needed to successfully accomplish most goals. One person choosing to step outside the realms of their roles, while consistently questioning authority is detrimental to the healthy development of others. Ask Aaron and Miriam (Numbers 12:1-15)!
Do your best in the role you currently have. You will find that your ultimate calling will be fulfilled through your willingness to obey God (Psalms 138:8), where you are at and by cultivating your talents. God has a plan for us all. No one man’s gift is greater than another. We are all valuable. Learn from those in leadership. If you think you can do it better, when your time comes- DO IT BETTER!
Give Jesus your heart and life & see what God will do with it.
http://www.intouch.org/resources/all-things-are-new/content/topic/how_do_i_accept_jesus_as_my_savior_all_things
